Yesterday was the 20th Anniversary of Nirvana's iconic album, Nevermind. I've read a gazillion articles on how the album single-handedly changed music and a generation, which is very true and super interesting, but I want to talk about the impact it had on me, myself, and I. Yes, Nevermind changed everything from music to fashion to the attitude of young people around the world, but on a much smaller scale, it changed me. It made me. 

Looks like this post isn't rated G.
I was 7 years old when Nevermind first popped into my life. It was Thanksgiving 1991, and we were feasting at my aunt and uncle's house. My older cousins, who I thought were the coolest, always thought it was funny to get a rise out of our sweet and super conservative grandma. (Out of pure love, of course!) The Nevermind album cover was pretty controversial at the time because it featured an infant's tiny, yet uber offensive, wee-wee (penis). The 90's obviously didn't know what was coming! Because of this sinfully naked baby, my cousin decided to show Grandma the album cover too see her reaction. That moment was the first time I laid eyes on Nevermind, and I remember the scene vividly to this day. After passing around the cover, my cuz decided to play the ever popular "Smells Like Teen Spirit" on the stereo, and I had never heard anything like it! I didn't want to like it, but I did... at 7.

Fast forward to 15 year old, teenage Whitney. A little blonde cheerleader with a CD collection full of Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, and Destiny's Child. I dressed up as Britney every Halloween, and made more Mariah Carey music videos (starring myself) than I'd like to admit. Then, as fate would have it, I met the coolest guy I had ever met at that point in my life. We were on a week long youth group trip, and he was there from another state. Okay, it seemed like he was there from another world. While my high school was full of football playing, Nascar watching, American Eagle wearing, clean-cut boys... this guy was dirty. Good dirty. He had long hair dyed with different colors and wore clothes he bought from thrift stores. He was beautiful and really cool and he didn't even know it. He sat around by himself with his headphones on most of the time, and I finally got the nerve to talk to him. I guess I played it cool, (doubtful) because we quickly became friends and he let me listen to his CD with him... Amazingly, it was Nevermind. He told me, with a lot of excitement, that Nirvana was one of his favorite bands. Number 2, to be exact. He was so passionate about their music, and had me listen to more and more and more. It was amazing and awakening! For some reason, at that confusing point in my life, I needed Nirvana bad, and all of the sudden, there they were. They were throwing themselves at me through one little ear of the headphones we were sharing. They were raw and they were real. It was music I could feel in my bones and my insides. It was scary, yet incredibly necessary. Essential. Vital. I had never really been exposed to that kind of music before, so I was unaware that I desperately needed it! My glittery pink robot bubble had been burst, and I was finally alive. From that moment on I was hooked, and there was no throwing me back. I was ready for the ride. I wanted to know everything! Soon we had to go back home, but thanks to having my own phone line (pre-cell phones) and AOL, we talked all the time and he fueled my Nirvana interest into a full grown obsession. I truly believe it was fate that we met, because Future Whitney would need Nirvana to literally save her life in a few years time. (Specifically, the song "Lithium", but that is a-whole-nother story!)

Me in all my white eye shadow glory, that very enlightening week :)
After attempting to analyze why Nevermind pulled me in, I think it all comes down to the music and the combination of each musician's unique style. It's extremely rare to observe such deep emotion in a singer's voice. I think that's where Nirvana first got me. Listening to Kurt sing, I almost feel guilty, like I'm reading his diary or eavesdropping on his most personal moments. He bleeds his emotions through his voice and his melodies. His vocals are so intense and raw and blistering. His songs play with the dynamics of loud and soft, and fast and slow. The verses are soft/quiet and the choruses are fast/loud, or vice versa. I love that a song like "In Bloom" will start out slow and sing-songy, and then build up to this bellowing screaming chorus that you can't help but scream along to yourself. Loudly. Then it slows down again so you have to wait for that powerful release once more. And it's so worth the wait. Gosh, that's totally what I love about their music! When Kurt is singing, it's so beautiful and perfect, yet so imperfect at the same time. Then when he screams, (on key, may I add) he screams with such intensity and explosiveness, that it engulfs your entire insides and makes you feel what he feels. I feel their music, which I can't do with most other artists. Listening to one of their songs is a physical and mental experience, as opposed to background noise or entertainment. Not to mention, Dave Grohl is one of the greatest rock drummers of all time. Nirvana's drum sound (since Dave joined the band) just blows my ever-loving mind! Dave is a beast behind a kit, as is Krist Novoselic slapping a bass. The bass sound on Nevermind is just as incredible! I honestly never paid attention to bass in music (sorry) before listening to Nirvana. Krist gives you no choice but to notice the bass, and it's deep and dirty in a non-Metallica way. Just add a lot of guitar and feedback to that mix, and Nirvana is IT for me! 

"In Bloom"

While Nevermind is not my favorite Nirvana album, (In Utero is) it is so important and dear to me because it was the bait that hooked me for life. I don't know if I would have dug any deeper into Nirvana if the first album I had heard was In Utero or Bleach. Those albums are grittier and louder than Nevermind, which I love now, but at 15, going from bubblegum pop to rock, Nevermind was perfect! It's an album that genuinely means so much to me. It, and he who introduced it to me, changed my life in a whirlwind! They were it, and I am beyond thankful for both! I can't imagine my life, and getting through the things I've been through, if I only had processed, mass appeal, "pop" music to keep me going. There's absolutely no way I would be who I am today without Nirvana, and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the alternative. Nevermind gave me the desire to discover more about Nirvana. My love for Nirvana led me to discover R.E.M., Smashing Pumpkins, Bikini Kill, Hole, Foo Fighters, Black Flag, Black Sabbath, Meat Puppets, Pixies, Sonic Youth, and more. All of those bands helped me figure out what styles and sounds speak to me the most so I can seek out current bands that make me "feel". Hakuna Matata! It's the circle of life that all started for me, with Nirvana's Nevermind album. Happy Anniversary!!!* 

Pretty cool: Breaking down the recording of "Something In The Way"

*I don't know if I could successfully give the perfect tribute to Nevermind on it's anniversary. Maybe with a new language consisting of more meaningful words than the most meaningful words we already have would convey my love and appreciation for this album better, but we're all stuck with what is here.  
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this post, but I'm going none-the-less. For seven years now, people have asked me over and over why I like Seattle so much and why I would want to live there. And for seven years, I have B.S'd cliche answers of "it's pretty" or "there's a lot of music". In reality, I can't put my feelings for the Pacific Northwest into words, and I'm not sure that I even understand it. All I know is I went out there for the first time in 2004 and I never looked back!

Picture from the one time I sat in a window seat.
I'm thinking I'll just go over a few reasons why I love Seattle:

  1. There's a real live rock music scene. I'm obsessed to the max with music, and Seattle is swarming with rock bands. And hot rocker boys. (Schwiiing!) There's an actual scene, and they're obsessed with music too. I can go to shows all the time and not be known as the girl who "spends all her money on concerts", because it's normal there! And people will actually know what bands I'm talking about. We can have multi-person conversations about the music that I like, because they like too, and it will be amazing! I can have serious talks about music... Just thinking about it, I feel like I'm skipping through a meadow and twirling in circles with my arms out, just smiling! Plus, Nirvana was from Washington! If you really know me, you know that Nirvana is my golden rock band, and that "obsession" is a very weak term for what they and their music are to me. Between Sub Pop Records, Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix, and many other bands of the 90's and 2000's, there is a rich rock music history in Seattle. That makes me happy! 
  2. People are outside a lot. Seattle is a walking city. Whether they're walking to the grocery store, to one of many coffee shops, or to a park, they're outside a lot. It's one of those places where you're constantly seeing people riding their bikes or paddle boarding on the lake. There's also plenty of hiking, climbing, camping, wakeboarding, snowboarding, and hanging out at the beach. I'm really excited to get more adventurous!
  3. The city is wonderful. I love downtown Seattle! I know it's touristy and trafficy, and maybe I'll hate it after a while, but I highly doubt it. There are parks, markets, beaches, shops, restaurants, museums, venues, malls, piers, hotels, fountains, sculptures, brass pigs, carnival rides, gum walls, ships, and that big Space Needle, among other sites. I'm already planning on getting a membership to the EMP and frequenting the farmers markets all the time. 
  4. Seattle weather. Crazygirlsaywhaaaat?? There's no way she just said "Seattle weather!" Yep. I said it. One time my aunt told me that when moving, you had to think about things that were important to you. She said for her, weather meant a lot, and that was a big reason in why they moved to Florida. When I say I like the weather in a very rainy city, people think I'm nuts. I guess I am, because I love rain! Particularly, I love Seattle rain because it's so light, unlike Virginia downpours. I've always liked rain. I constantly beg people to play in the rain with me, and very few have. Sometimes I will just stand out in the pouring rain, and it's the most amazing feeling to me. I don't like umbrellas, and my hair is curly, so it works out. What can I say? Oh yeah, they have a lot of sunshine too!
  5. My kind of people. I have to first make it very clear that I LOVE my friends and family in Virginia and wouldn't trade them for the world!! That being said, I never feel as comfortable or more like myself than when I am with my Washington state friends. I don't know what it is. Maybe we have more in common and I feel like I can say whatever I'm thinking because they're just as weird as me. And they usually know what I'm talking about, which makes me happy. My humor is often lost in Virginia. Here, I'll talk about a movie or TV show I love, and nobody will know what I'm talking about. The same thing happens with bands or songs I'm into. Or snowboarders and competitions. Then I will talk to my friends in Washington, and they will not only know what I'm talking about, but they love those things too! I'm not that weird there, and I don't get frustrated that nobody gets me out there, because they somehow magically do. Virginia has a huge place in my heart, but it feels like a different universe in Seattle. A universe that I belong in.
A lot of the appeal to me is a mystery. The things I like about Seattle can apply to a lot of other cities, but it's not the same. I don't know why, but I am so happy when I am out there. Everything just feels right, and although I tried to explain it a little, I really can't put it into words. Everything I said is inadequate, but I think I owe it to people to say at least something. It's a feeling. It's a sign. It's just right.

Here are some of my favorite memories from pre-citizen Washington! (And although I love it, notice that there is no rain in these pictures... Gossip!)

First visit to Pike Place Market.
Hiking to "Shipwreck", our secret camping spot.
Ghost hunting.
About to get kicked out of a playground in the middle of the night.
My forever faves.
Disguises in the Pirate Store.
Cigars and sing-alongs with my buds.
Being tourists.
Gosh, I love that view...
The Booster!
Espresso By The Bay coffee shop!
To the left is the first Starbucks EVER.
Pike Place Market!
Late night bonfire.
Inappropriate housesitting.
80 degrees at the bottom of Mt. Rainier, and snow at the top!
Olympia, WA.
On top of the Space Needle.
Snowboarding at Crystal Mountain.
Friends <3
I guess that's all I can say on the subject of moving right now. I'm kind of tired of talking about it, and ready to just do it! Haha :) I leave on October 1st, and will be driving across the country for four days with my dad to my new house. That should be a fun entry. Left coast is the best coast!!

Woolie, OUT!   
I'm going to go ahead and mention that when I use words like "tomorrow" or any specific day to predict when my next blog post will appear, you should multiply that by 3 or 4-ish, and you'll be pretty close. It's not that I don't want to honor my word.... I think I have good intentions! I wish I was disciplined enough to sit down and do it, or at least disciplined enough to not make promises I can't keep. I swear I do it because I love you! And it sounds good.

Honestly, I want my "why I want to move to Seattle" themed post to be awesome! I have a lot to say about it, and I haven't had time to really sit down and dedicate my entire brain, or even 32% of my brain to it. I'm thinking realistically, part 2 of my moving blog will appear this weekend :)

But for now I leave you with the reason I am considering throwing Seattle away and moving to New Jersey!!! I'm kidding about moving to Jersey. I heard the crabs can jump 2 feet in the air... and I'm not talking about the ones at the beach. I'm not kidding when I say I hope and pray that this guy shows up in Seattle one day with his CD player and serenades the crap out of my 8am bus with the sweet sweet sounds of Katy Perry! He had me at "uhuuuhuuhhhh" ;)

Woolie, OUT!

"This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess"

Emotions are weird. I didn't realize it was possible to feel scared, excited, happy, sad, pumped up, and nervous all at the same time. All of those feelings swimming around in one person is confusing. Oh, there's another one: Confusion! And why, may you ask, are all these adjectives backstroking through my insides? Because it's officially official: I'm moving to Seattle, WA! I'm walking off to look for America, just like Simon and Garfunkel. Okay, maybe I'm not taking a Greyhound or having depressing conversations with Kathy while she's sleeping, but I'm doing this people! 

I named him "Bubbles"
The reason I haven't updated Snoop Bloggie-Blog (Yes.) is because I just got back from venturing out to the Pacific Northwest to search for roommates and a place to live. Crazy, I know! And since all of my friends are employed (grown-ups), I had to drive around all alone in my little rental clown car to residences of possible ax murderers that I found on Craigslist (aka sketch.com). Luckily, I guess I have a good eye for legit Craigslist ads, because instead of being forced into the middle position of the human centipede (I call front!), I found two houses that I could actually see myself living in. One house is in-between Green Lake and the U-District, and the other is in Northgate. For you non-Seattleites: Basically, one is somewhat close to downtown, and one isn't. So of course I picked the one closer to downtown! I may end up regretting it as far as traffic goes, but what can I say? I have big plans for Seattle, including volunteering at the EMP museum and helping the local economy by shopping... A LOT! And panhandling, since people wont give me new things without some kind of paper or plastic currency in return. I don't get it, but whatever.

It might come to this
Anyways, my future roommates seem really cool! I'm excited to move in the first week in October and get to know them. My long-time WA friends, on the other hand, have already sparked my addiction to Spire apple cider and provoked my near-future career in karaoke. Spire is unbelievably delicious and only available locally, and me singing karaoke seems to only be encouraged by a very small human population (2 to be exact) who just so happen to live in WA. That being said, it's pretty clear why I'm moving. 

What? It isn't? You're not buying that I'd move across the country for hard apple cider and dive bar karaoke? Fine. But I'll have to save that explanation for part 2. This was supposed to be a short and sweet update post to keep my peeps informed, and instead it became a super long, incoherent ramble. Yes, that's normal coming from me, but really, it's almost 3am (I must be lonely like Rob Thomas) and I'm sitting here eating Lucky Charms and listening to Bikini Kill at an incredibly unhealthy volume. You know you've had your headphones on too long when you realize your temples and ears are actually aching. Ouch! 

I'm living proof that this advertising model works 
So goodnight blogosphere! I hope this makes as much sense in the morning as it does now... Part 2 (easy read edition) will go up tomorrow. I'll shoot for gold with post #3! Break! 

Woolie, OUT!
So here's the thing: I'm a mess. What? No, I meant to spill that on myself... What I mean is, I, myself, am a mess. My life. My mind. My being. They're all messy. I guess everyone is in their own way, but I have a tendency to wear it on my sleeve. I have a history of taking off my shirt. (And quoting ridiculous Barenaked Ladies songs.) If you got that, this is the blog for you! I'm a little different, and my mind is cluttered with the weirdest, randomest (Get used to made-up words, grammar police. You're the worst kind of po-po!) thoughts. Most of the time, these thoughts should stay in my head. Okay, all the time, but sometimes I just have the urge to share. And I can't be blamed, because you get to make the choice whether to subject yourself to my hotly-messed thoughts or not. I can't force you to read it. You can choose to read it, laugh at my craziness, and feel better about yourself because you're not me, or you can choose to ignore it and deal with the fatal consequences... Wait, what? Nevermind.

He could never show his face at Mommy-and-Me.
So what am I going to blog about? Your guess is as good as mine! Maybe things that I find interesting, and things that are important to me. Crazy idea, I know! One thing I'm sure of: it will be super random, because I'm always discovering new things and analyzing whatevers. I'm always excited about something, and I have a lot to say. I know I'll talk about music a lot. That's just a given. You know those "music people" you hear about on 20/20 or Dateline? People that can physically and emotionally feel certain songs, and need them to survive? Like oxygen or Bear Grylls? Yeah, that's me, and I have a lot to say about it. I also write songs and poetry, but I'll have to see about those going up here... I'm very passionate about mental health awareness and the self-esteem of kids and teenagers. I'm Bipolar, and my entire life has been quite the rollercoaster "cliche descriptive word" adventure because of it. I'll talk about books I'm currently digging, and art I'm obsessing over. I'll talk about my favorite movies and TV shows. I'll share hilarious Youtube videos and articles that I find interesting. Things change all the time, so who knows what I'll have to say. That's the beauty of sharing your thoughts on the worldwide web!

No, this is not heaven, but pretty close.
Oh yeah! There's also the whole thing about this big adventure I'm about to embark on. After living in "The Colony" (VA, duh.) my entire life, I am finally in the process of moving to my favorite city, Seattle, WA! The real-life "Emerald City" ===(|)- (That's a Space Needle, not a weiner, perv.) My life is about to change drastically, and I'll have a lot to share in the near future. This whole blog ordeal will be great because I can update everyone back on the East coast without having to use my ghetto phone. (I don't want a brain tumor, y'all!)  

All kinds of awesome.

Well, that was a sufficiently boring intro... I'll pump up the bass and add a little extra auto-tune in my sophomore entry. Maybe I'll add a rapper or two, because we all know the next one will make me or break me.  Word to your mother.

Okay, now I'm hungry.
Woolie, OUT!